you don't know how lovely you are
by S.J Carter
Summary: With a name like The Evil Queen, you'd think that he'd know better than to trust her. Yet, he is too kind and too caring. And he believes in second chances. Oh, what a fool he is. ―-ReginaRobin


_Le notes:_ Slightly AU after 3x13, and I go back and forth between the Storybrooke verse and The Enchanted Forest verse (if the section starts with a phrase in italics, then it's set in Storybrooke). Anyway, hope you enjoy!

_Summary: _With a name like The Evil Queen, you'd think that he'd know better than to trust her. Yet, he is too kind and too caring. And he believes in second chances. Oh, what a fool he is. ―-ReginaRobin

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**you don't know how lovely you are**

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"I'm sorry you were not truly loved  
and that it made you cruel."  
―Warsan Shire

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**/ / /**

She is a glimmer of darkness and a trick of despair. Everything that is evil, cruel, despicable, and all-powerful. Yet, Robin Hood lets his mind drift off in to thoughts tainted. Thoughts that are taboo, thoughts that really shouldn't invade his mind, but they manage to do so, anyway. He thinks of her light and fire, how she manages to lift a bolder, twice her size, with nothing but the waves of her tiny and delicate fingers. She's magical, the queen. Someone who could truly be marveled at, if only she wasn't so broken.

_"Someone to destroy," _she says, and Robin Hood does nothing but offer her his pity. He's kind, you know? _Too _kind. And good things never happen to kind people.

"Don't do this." He pleads, eyes sincere and sparkling. Eyes like blood diamonds. "_You _are better than _this._" He tells her.

She gives him this indecipherable look. What in the world did he know about her anyway? With a name like The Evil Queen, you'd think that he'd know better than to trust her. Yet, he is too gentle and too caring. And he believes in second chances. Oh, what a fool he is.

"_Please,_" Robin actually says, as his legs are still bound to the floor by her spell. "I've seen the good in you." He goes on to say, and she's not sure why she's still allowing him to speak. "You saved Roland." Robin endlessly reminds her.

Regina does not offer him a single word. Yet, her face speaks in volumes. She cracks, but only for a second. Robin Hood fails to miss her moment of weakness; he crosses the line and goes just a bit _too _far.

"Your child would not want this for you." Robin releases, as The Evil Queen's eyes become darker and darker. "Your child would _never _wish this misery upon you."

Finally, Regina loses control. With a push of her hand, she sends Robin flying and his back hits the wall. "You don't know me!" She shouts. Robin groans in pain. Regina takes a few steps towards him, only to revel in her empty victory. "And you don't know _Henry _either. Don't you dare try to give orders to a queen!"

(He watches the darkness consume her soul, watches her heart become pitch black. And he wants to lose hope, he really does, but he's heard the desperation in her voice. The way she'd say her son's name with the sad and broken voice of a lost woman. Worst of all, Robin falls witness to the small tear rolling down her cheek).

**.**

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_Back in Storybrooke, they accuse her of treason._

Little John's disappearance is linked to the flying monkey, which reminds them of evil and magic. And the queen falls right in to those fitting little categories. How convenient.

Regina knows it's a set-up, all part of Emma Swan's great big plan to make everything right again. Yet, The Evil Queen can't help but feel targeted. They are so quick to blame her. It all comes so easily to them. Even Dr. Hopper looks at her with disappointed eyes and a dissatisfied frown. Despite the charade, things still hurt.

She meets Robin's eyes from across the room and she swears that she remembers that sparkle. That glimmer in his eyes, all the hope and kindness. As if he saw the good in her. As if he dared to.

(She pushes them all away with her magic, and as she watches Robin's back hit the wall, she realizes that it all feels so familiar. Like deja-vu, or something just as pathetic. Lucky for him, she disappears in to dark smoky clouds.

Unmistakably, Robin Hood's heart beats like a jungle drum).

**.**

**/ / /**

Upon her return towards Snow and Charming's crew, she is greeted by Roland, first and foremost. Regina is quick to send him a smile and he offers her a small bouquet of wild flowers as a token of his appreciation. They're white lilies, and they're beautiful.

"They're for you," Roland says. "For saving my life, and for giving me a new toy." He sweetly continues.

Regina knows that Roland must have inherited this large, consuming, sense of kindness from his father.

"Thank you Roland." The queen says, sniffing the flowers and still smiling. "They're lovely."

The child grins. "Like you." He releases.

Regina's eyes widen. "No Roland, don't think that." She warns him. "I'm The Evil Queen remember? I can't be lovely."

Roland only manages to frown. "But…but papa says…" he begins nervously, as his feet step over the other as a sign of anxiety. "Papa says you're not evil, you just like to hide your goodness."

It shocked her, quite honestly.

"That's very nice of him to say so Roland, but he's wrong about me." She settles for, unable to explain much to a mere child.

"My papa's never wrong!" Roland protests.

Regina actually ends up chuckling at the young boy's persistence. "Well sweetheart, there's a first time for everything."

Suddenly, out of the blue, Roland's arms wrap themselves around her legs. It's not his fault, he can't reach any higher. Still, his actions are still so unexpected. "You're too nice to be mean." He softly tells her, though he fails to make much sense at all.

"You're wrong Roland." Regina insists. "I'm not nice at all."

**.**

**/ / /**

_Once, in the midst of March, Roland gets himself separated from his father._

The fair had been grand; the entire town had always enjoyed the annual carnival. The games, the food, and the entertainment were all good and fun. It was almost enough to make everyone feel a little bit better about the fact that an entire year's worth of precious memories had been stolen away from them. That some of them were gone. That most of them missed The Enchanted Forest.

Yet, Robin and his merry men still managed to play a good game of Wack-A-Mole. Eventually, most of them get carried away and swept off in to the competition. Roland bores himself quite easily. So, while his father's busy, the little boy sits on a bench close by.

The mayor of Storybrooke didn't make a habit of attending fairs anymore. The loss of her own son brought upon too many sad memories. She remembers that one time where Henry is four years old and curious. His first time at the fair is marvelous. So she guesses that that's what brings her back to the carnival.

Henry would have wanted her to smile a bit more.

Suddenly, her nostalgia is interrupted by the sight of a little boy. He has short brown locks and the most adorable bright eyes, a button nose, and rosy pink cheeks. He sits by himself on the bench and kicks at his feet. Nervously, Regina makes her way towards him.

"Hello there," she greets. The young boy raises his head. Regina smiles. "Are you lost?"

The child shakes his head. "My papa is right over there." He explains, pointing to his left.

She sets eyes on the father's backside. She squints her eyes and fails to recognize him.

"He's going to win me a giant dragon." The boy continues to speak, distracting Regina from her slight memory issues.

"Is that so?" She playfully questions.

He nods his head. "You're the mayor, aren't you?"

"That's right." Regina tells him.

"Papa says you used to be The Evil Queen, back in our land."

They both look slightly disappointed. "It's true," she admits.

"Papa also says you know magic." Now, the boy looks curious.

Regina's able to smile again. "I do know magic." She tells him. And her next words are lethal, maybe it's because she misses Henry. Maybe that's why she lets her guard down. "Would you like to see?"

The child nods his head.

Regina eyes the little plastic knight in his hand. She waves her fingers and the toy starts to levitate.

The young boy's eyes widen. He laughs and giggles. "You made my Mr. Knight fly!" He exclaims.

Regina looks satisfied and relieved. She brings the toy back down and offers the boy a kiss on the forehead.

"You're amazing." He tells her next.

"Roland!" The father yells from a short distance, as he runs to his boy, in a panic. He glares at Regina because all he knows about her (all he remembers) is that she's the evil queen. "Roland, don't run off like that, you worry me."

Roland ends up apologizing softly. "It's okay papa, I was playing with my new friend, the mayor."

Robin Hood sends her a confused look. Regina simply huffs as a response. He rolls his eyes; she's a true queen, through and through.

Regardless, Robin thanks her softly. Regina forgets to reply.

This also ends up feeling oddly familiar.

**.**

**/ / /**

It is the middle of the night; Snow White has set up camp and a tent for both herself and Regina. Naturally though, Snow aims to share a tent with Charming. Regina is only left with herself. She takes down her high hair and puts her crown away. The fancy robes come off and her make-up is gone. She looks in the mirror and she sees nothing but a simple village girl; one with long dark locks, cascading down her figure, wearing a plain white gown, and looking all broken and dull.

"May I come in Milady?"

The thief with the lion tattoo brings her some water and something to eat. She sends him a glare as she opens her tent to him. She's unaware of his actual goal. This isn't all he has in mind, it simply can't be.

"What do you want?" The Queen asks.

But Robin is caught off guard by her sudden change of appearance. He had never seen her without her queenly attire before. Honestly, she's lovely either way but, without the protection of dark makeup and hard armor, she looks almost angelic.

She could so easily deceive him. He's quite vulnerable, indeed.

"I need to speak with you," he tells her, crawling in to her tent. "When do you plan on telling the others about your plan?"

She raises a brow, in suspicion. "What plan?"

"Your plan for destruction, what else?"

Regina wonders if she had ever called it _that_. "Why does it matter? It has nothing to do with you." She insists.

Robins releases a low groan. "I won't let you hurt innocent people. You were supposed to help rebuild the kingdom, not cause violence and uproar."

"I haven't done a thing yet!"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Their conversation comes to halt as their voices rise higher, catching the attention of those around them. Robin places a finger before his lips, wondering if he should have advised Regina to speak in lower tones. Like whispers shared between lovers, meeting secretly in dark tents. It would be romantic, if only these had been different circumstances.

Finally, Regina releases an uneasy and shaky breath. "Why haven't you told anyone? About what I said? How you presume that I mean to harm people?"

The thief widens his eyes in disbelief, uncertain if, whether or not the queen really cared for his opinion at all. "It's not my place to tell," he simply says.

Of course, she sees right through him. He's trying to protect her. Only he should know better. Queens are not princesses or helpless damsels in distress. They don't need to be protected. Robin's only mistake is a lack of experience. He's afraid that he's never met a woman of her caliber.

He's unaware of the treachery (unaware of the pain).

"You know what I think?" He suddenly questions. "I think you're hesitating because you're afraid. And, you also believe that there might be the slightest chance that, perhaps, you might someday be reunited with your boy."

For once, Regina stays quiet. Although her eyes speak in volumes.

Secretly, Robin wonders if he may have just stepped on a mine.

**.**

**/ / /**

_Roland waves to her on his way to school._

"He's not quite good at opening up with people," Robin tells her as they both watch Roland scurry inside the building. "But he seems to like you."

Unintentionally, Regina smiles.

"Have we ever met? You know…before?" Robin asks the mayor. And she reluctantly shakes her head.

"Not that I recall." Her voice is rather disconcerting. She's quite annoyed with the man, really.

Robin's still so curious. "Do you ever get the feeling that you're forgetting a lot of things?"

Regina rolls her eyes. "What's with all the questions?"

"Nothing," he dismissively says. "I just…it's been difficult, adjusting to this new era and not being able to remember an entire year."

She doesn't know why she listens to him complain. After all, she had bigger problems on her hands. Though, Regina isn't one to dump her issues on others. Especially not a petty young thief, of all people.

"I hear good things about Dr. Hopper's counselling methods. Perhaps you should go and see him." The mayor simply suggests. She's not too good with dealing with this sort of thing.

"I don't think that Jiminy could really help me with this. If anything, he's probably going through the same issues I am." Robin speaks logically.

Regina can't help but chuckle. "It's the blind leading the blind." She admits.

"If it's any consolation," he begins, "I don't think it was you." She offers him a confused look. "I don't think you banished us." Robin specifies.

She ends up feeling surprised and rather relieved. "And why do you think that?" She's honestly curious, mostly because the majority of the people around her are quick to shame her.

"I can't describe it," Robin confesses. "It's just a feeling I get, like you aren't so bad."

She would take it as a compliment, if only he hadn't looked so lost.

It feels like they've had this type of conversation before, where he had fate in her and she ended up betraying him. But she betrays _everyone_, so why does it feel so different this time?

"Perhaps, seeing you with Roland…" He stops when he sees her icy gaze. They linger on the rough lines of his face, searching his features for something suspicious. Something impure. She's never had any patience with men like him. If her experience has thought her one thing, it's that showing anyone any sign of weakness is a mistake. She's been manipulated and broken beyond repair.

He's a fool if he thinks that he can fix her, that she even needs to be fixed at all.

Yet, Robin manages to stir something inside of her. The way he looks at her is almost surreal; a fleeting glance, curious and pitying. Something so tender and kind.

Something so easy to destroy.

**.**

**/ / /**

He finds her, one night.

She is in the middle of the forest and she wakes up, screaming.

_"Henry!"_ She shouts, restlessly. _"Henry! Where are you? Are you safe?"_

"Milady," Robin whispers. His hands cover her shoulders and he tries to hold her close. She is too startled. She does not understand. "Milady, it is I." He reminds her.

"Who?" She questions, sounding like a mad woman.

"Robin Hood," he says.

"And Henry?" The queen loses her mind. "Where is Henry?"

He sighs only because he understands. Losing Roland could also drive him mad. "He didn't come with you."

She's shaking with fear. "Sometimes I forget," she tells him, out of mere weakness. "Was I sleep-walking?"

Robin nods his head. "Does that happen often?"

"Lately, yes" She tells him and she's afraid to ask herself if she's losing her mind. "You should go back to camp, Roland will be scared."

"Are you all right, walking back on your own?" He sincerely asks her.

"I'm fine!" The queen shouts, as she pushes his hand away. "I don't need help from a thief." Soon, they end up right back where they started, with words bitter and thoughts taboo.

Robin almost regrets helping her escape her nightmares.

Regina almost regrets pushing him away.

**.**

**/ / /**

_He walks by the park on an early Sunday morning._

She's been in hiding for an entire week, and the one day she decides to crawl out of the hole Emma Swan forced her in to, Regina gets caught.

"So," Robin begins, as he takes a seat beside her on the park bench. "This is where the great Evil Queen is hiding."

"Well," she sighs, "it appears that I've finally been found." She sounds cynical and bitter. "Why don't you gather up all your _merry men_? I bet they'd be thrilled to be able to finally convict me."

Robin raises a brow. "Have you been drinking Milady?"

She actually laughs. "Do I really sound so out-of-myself?"

"You do," he admits.

"Don't be so foolish," she advises him. "I am not that weak." Regina reminds him. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He points to his son as he plays on the slide. "Taking Roland to the park, you?"

She thinks of young Henry, running across the sand box with a smile on his face. "Reliving old memories."

"Did you have a child?"

"Yes, a son."

"Where is he now?"

"_Lost_."

Roland interrupts their conversation as he runs towards them. "Papa," he says, "can we play hide and seek?" His father nods his head. Roland then looks towards Regina with a smile. "Do you want to seek?"

"Sure," she tells him.

"Okay," Roland takes her hands and places them over her eyes. "Count to ten."

**.**

**/ / /**

(One.

Two.

Three).

"_Henry,_" she sees him in her sleep. _"Henry, are you real?" _She shuffles around in the empty tent, and fails to hear the faint footsteps of a thief.

(Four.

Five.

Six).

"Milady, wake up." Robin softly whispers in to her ear. He crawls in to her tent again, and it's not even unnoticeable. But Roland is fast asleep and safe with his merry men. And the queen is still so restless.

(Seven.

Eight.

Nine).

Regina's eyes fly open and, unintentionally, she grabs on to Robin's bare shoulder. Her eyes trace his skin, traveling the familiar lion-shaped mark on his arm. As a result, she comes to a terrifying conclusion. "That tattoo…" she releases. "It's…it's _you_."

Robin raises a brow, in confusion. "What's _me_?"

"Get away from me!" She immediately shouts. "Get away!"

He thoughtlessly comes closer towards her. "What's the matter? What has you so frightened?"

If she knew, she most certainly would not tell him. But she's losing her mind, and the mad are never too kind towards the sane. "Don't come near me." Regina orders. "Just don't."

Uncontrollably, Robin wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her close.

(Ten).

**.**

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**End**

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_Le more notes: _I'm shit at endings, sorry. If you made it all the way here, I'd sincerely loved to hear what you think. So leave me a review why don't you?

―**_Xoxo Carter_**


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